If I was born before the women’s liberation movement who would I be?
Would I pick up the banner and fight for the right to go to work because I was unhappy staying at home full time with my children? Because I was tired of being looked down upon and told that I was incapable of doing “men’s work?”
Many smart, strong women before me have fought hard to give me the right to work. Because of them I have the confidence of knowing that I am as smart, if not smarter than most of the men I know. Because of them I was able to decide whether or not I wanted to continue working when my son was born.
Unfortunately, as an indirect result of their hard work, I was criticized when I decided to quit my job and stay home full time. There were people who considered it a waste of my time and intelligence to leave the workforce and stay at home to raise my children. And now, I sit at home and constantly wonder if I’ve made the right decision. Is it really best for my children that I am at home with them while wishing I was at work? Or that other mothers sit at work while wishing they were home with their kids?
There are moms out there that are perfectly content with staying at home with their kids and others who are happy and confident with their decision to go to work. Sweet Lord I wish I was one of them.
I am a firm believer that both ways are right. This is not meant to debate whether women should stay at home or go to work. I personally want to be at home with my kids. I grew up in a household with two working parents and I don’t want that for my children. My parents did an amazing job, but I missed having my mom around at events and volunteering at school. I want to be able to do those things for my children.
Sometimes I wonder if there wasn’t such a huge chasm in this debate of whether women should go to work or stay at home would I have felt like I was missing out by having a working mother.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. I want to be a part of that village. If I am going to stay at home with my kids then I want to do my part to help support that moms who are going to work. That mother is helping me by going to work and keeping women relevant in the workplace.
We see these huge swings in history. At first women weren’t supposed to go to work. Then as I was growing up all girls were told that they could (and should) go to work. Now women are continuing to fight about who’s right. Should we be at home or at work? And our economy has adjusted to having dual worker households so many moms can’t afford to stay at home.
We can’t all stay at home and we can’t all go to work. We need to support each other. If our children see no difference between mother’s who work and those who stay at home then that will make their decision that much easier.
One is not better than the other. We need to stop judging. Stop feeling guilty. Stop doubting our choices we have made. Almost every instance I have heard where one mother criticizes another happens because she is defending her decision. BOTH decisions are right!!
To the mothers at home who don’t want to help the working mothers. Do you want your daughters or future granddaughters to become doctors or lawyers if they so choose? Then you owe it to them to support that working mother.
To the working mothers who look down on the stay at home moms. Do you want to have the piece of mind to know that your child will have a ride to ballet of soccer if your meeting runs late? Then you owe that mother the respect she deserves for making the choice to stay at home.
And most importantly. Parents!! Mothers and fathers!! Your children are listening to you!!! When you talk about other parents and the choices they have made, they are listening. I want my boys to know that women have the right to stay at home and raise their children or go to work! I want that for their future wives and future mothers they may one day employee. I want them to have compassion and understanding for parents in general.
Our children are our future. They should ALWAYS come first. Let’s be a village and raise our children to be better people than we are.